Happily Andrews After

B has lived with us for a little over a year. Ya'll. It's been a roller coaster. There is nothing about life that looks the way it did before. There is nothing about life that feels the way it did before. We are suddenly parents to a teen. Teenagers are hard. Autism is hard. Kabuki syndrome is hard. Mood disorders are hard. But we are making it. We have finally settled down as far as appointments go. And thankfully, my family is able to help get her to some appointments, like speech, when our jobs keep us from being able to go. We still struggle with some of her behaviors and knowing the best way to handle them. We have seen an improvement but we still have a long way to go as a family. We, as parents, have a lot to learn. And in turn, we have a lot to teach B. We are still learning about services that may be available for her. And then we have to decide what services may benefit her the most, that will fit in the time that we have. She can only handle so much a...

B has been here with us about 6 months now. Ya'll. Just in case you didn't know. Parenting is hard. I know this is not a revelation to most of you. But we didn't ease into it. There wasn't nine months of expectation and dreams of what it would be like to hold a newborn in our arms. We did not have to do the diaper changes, or nights without sleep. It's hard in a different way. When you are parenting a child with special needs, there is a list of things you never thought you would have to think about.  Some nights I lay and stare at the ceiling and think of all the things that were challenges that day, and all the successes. I think of the list of things that needs to be done tomorrow, and try to make mental lists of things to not forget. I am barely keeping all the appointments straight, and I am watching my leave balance at work decline steadily. It makes my desire to be able to stay at home even stronger. Just to be able to manage all the things that need to...

About twelve years ago, I received a call that would change my life, and I didn't even know it. Twelve years ago, a little brown haired girl walked up the sidewalk, and into my house, and honestly into my heart. For the next 7 months, there were a lot of days that I didn't know if I was coming or going. We organized schedules of therapies, home visits, family visitations, and medical appointments. We actually became pros in a very short amount of time. We kept notes of every day activities and notes of medical appointments. We went to meetings at the school, we went to foster care meetings, and staffings.  Some days ended in joy, some in tears, but almost all ended with exhaustion. Bedtime for her was 8pm, and I think most days, I was dead asleep by 8:30pm. I was exhausted.  At the end of the seven months, two days after Christmas, I packed all the toys, clothes, shoes, and recently bought Christmas presents into my 2005 Grand Am and took that little brown haired g...

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there. I don't just mean the biological or adoptive mothers. I'm talking about ALL the moms. Maybe you're a foster mother, or a step- mother. Maybe you're a spiritual mother, or someone who is in a mentoring roll to others. You are all mothers. Its not just about biology. It's about the heart. I hope you all have a wonderful day. Find the precious moments that you can to cherish.

This week is National Infertility Awareness week. I thought I might take a moment and just express what infertility feels like to me. While at times I do feel sorry for myself, this isn't a pity post. Just an awareness one, and one that comes from my heart.  I truly believe that God makes families in many different ways. It can be biologically, fostering, adoption or maybe He choses that your family is just to be the people around you. Although I know that its sounds cliche, but I believe that God's plans for me are better than what I have for myself. I do not know if I will ever have a biological child. I hope too. Very much so. But, I also know if in my life, it is only ever my husband, dogs and I, that I can be happy with that as well.  However, there are days where the ache for a child can be almost overwhelming. When it seems like every woman at the grocery store is pregnant, or when invitations for baby showers, gender reveals and first birthdays arrive. This does no...

So many things have changed, even in the last 2 weeks. Steven and I are doing great. We have settled into life so well. I just realized last week that it has been almost a year since we moved into our home. We are loving the space in the yard and worked hard last summer to clean up the yard a bit. We will have to do some more this year, but its coming along very well. In December, we adopted a new dog. A true blue bluetick coonhound. She's such a sweetheart. She has some nervousness that we are working on. We have named her Peyton, and she gets along great with our other two dogs, Jarvis and Loki. Crate training/potty training is the biggest challenge, but we are making some progress! The battle against infertility continues, but we continue to be hopeful. Knowing that God can make families in many different ways. We actually have had my god daughter come to stay with us. It has been a life adjustment, but things are going well. I think everyone is a little tired, but, we wou...

All things relaxing...naps, coffee, crock pot meals, reading and even watching Hallmark movies... We overslept this morning, and did not have time to get ready to get to church. I am so thankful that our church streams the service online, so that if you can't be there in person on a Sunday, we can watch online. I love my church, so we don't make the viewing online a routine thing, but it is nice to have in times like this morning or if you are sick. It has been really rainy here this week, and although the sun is shining some today, its extremely windy. I'm a little worried about power outages, but for now, we are good. I try very hard not to complain about the weather. No one can control it. We only can control our reaction or moods to it. But, cheese and crackers, I am very much over the rain. Our yard is just a muddy mess and walking the dogs almost requires giving them a bath. February is my least favorite month. I don't get hyped up for Valentine's Day, a...

My husband is my best friend, and my favorite human.... but long before I ever met him, I had my best girlfriends in the world. I had met Beth and Tasha years ago, in college. We were classmates with the same major and so we almost always had the same classes. We were friends, but not like kind you hang out with regularly. One spring break,  there was a small group trip to Gatlinburg, and by the time we left, I knew I had made my lifelong friends. We have seen each other through so many things. We don't have to talk every day to know that we are there...but I definitely think that as we have gotten older, and have had more life events, we talk more.  They are the most supportive, honest, funny, and both humble people you will ever meet. They both are hard workers, love their families and so smart it will amaze you! As much as we have in common, we have many differences. Beth is a farm girl, who is surrounded by cows, dogs, and the most beautiful farm land that you will...

What are your favorite Fall ideas? We always go to a pumpkin patch, and corn maize. Those are just two every year traditions. Every year I say I am going to host a Halloween party, and this year we actually have the space, but I think I am just going to participate in our church's Trunk or Treat.  I want Steven and I to pick a theme and really go all out for it. I have 30 days to plan it, so I need to find a good theme and start getting the decorations together. I am thinking Mary Poppins and Burt? or Anne of Green Gables and Gilbert (which no one would get), or maybe even a character from Once Upon a Time. Not sure yet. I'm open to suggestions. Just as long as they aren't anything scary. Here's our fall bucket list: Corn Maize/Pumpkin patch/Hayride Carving Pumpkins Watch "The Wizard of Oz" Go to a football game (We have our tickets! Go Vols!) Head to the Peaks of Otter for some fall scenery and a picnic Visit some fall festivals Fall Camping? C...

What does a weekend look like for you? I am usually go, go , go, and getting my lists done. However, these last two weekends, I don't feel like doing anything. I make a list of things to do, and then I accomplish none of it. I don't know if I am just tired from the summer, or if the weather is changing and is just making me tired, or what.. but I have got to get on a ball! We have the holidays coming up and they are always a big deal for decorating and food preparations, so, the things I have planned, I need to get done. The last two weekends, I drag myself out of bed, drink coffee, and lay around until football games come on.  Blah... Today, we did manage to run some errands and do some laundry. But now, its dinner in the crockpot and Hallmark Channel movies. Anyone else feeling a little blah??

If I had a nickel for every time I thought about making a post, I would be rich.But it is always at the times where I can't. Not to mention that our computer died, so I'm trying to figure out to maintain it without one. Tablets and phones just aren't great for blogging. There really aren't any really great apps. But, I've caught a few minutes, so, here is an update on where we are... We are pretty settled... Our year anniversary is coming up next month. I don't know how a whole year has passed so fast. Life just goes on every day, no matter what, doesn't it? Our jobs are good. Holding steady and changing all at the same time. Next week, I begin to work from home some. Which just strengthens my desire to eventually be a stay at home mom. I never thought I would want that. But, I do. Its a goal we are working towards... and on that note.. No... we aren't pregnant.... We actually aren't even trying right now. I had a small out  patient surgery i...

Lots of people know about my journey with Fibromyalgia. But what a lot of people don't know about is that I have struggled with infertility as well. It has been something that has been a battle since I was 23 years old. There have been so many wishful moments, followed by sad moments, and stressful moments. When I met Steven, and we first started dating, I made it clear to him that before things got too serious, he needed to know that I struggled with infertility and that biological children may not be possible for me, and that if he thought about being serious with me, he needed to think really long and hard about that. Being the man that he is, he said pretty much said he loved me and not my ability to have or not have children, and that there are plenty of children who need homes and people who will love them. Bless him. As soon as we got married, we began our battle with infertility together. I am older than Steven by about 12 years so, according to our doctor, our years l...

I have thought the last few days in the direction of where I wanted to take my blog. What did I want focus on in my writing? Did I even want to write anymore?  There are a few topics that come to mind, and they are all part of my life, and any given day, the focus changes. I could talk about our focus to get out of debt, my struggles with Fibromyalgia, PCOS, and migraines,  or just being newlyweds and our day to day life, like when we stay home and eat dinner on the couch and watch Law and Order: SVU. I really don't know that there will be one solid focus. I just would like to be more consistent in posting. I think of topics, but it seems to be when I am driving or right before I fall to sleep, and within a few moments, they are forgotten. So, here is an update on where we are now, and maybe I can use this as a place to jump from in the future... Steven and I have settled into a nice routine of  married life. The week is filled with work, house work and thi...

I used to make New Year's resolutions every year. Go to the gym, lose weight, eat healthy, etc. However, I gave that up many years ago. I think it sets up really high expectations for yourself and then, if you can not keep up the resolution, then it can set up feelings of defeat or failure.  This year I gave myself a goal...not a resolution. My goal is to take better care of myself. I'm not going to say, "oh, I'm going to lose 30 pounds" or "I'm only going to eat healthy"...because ya'll, that does not work for me. But what I can say is, "I'm going to put myself first over some things and take care of myself."  This wasn't a decision that I came to easily. I thought about it for weeks. I thought about if I could really commit to taking care of myself. The last couple of years, I haven't really done that. I put things ahead of what I needed to do for myself.  So, 2018, is about taking care of myself. I've alrea...

There are 13 days left, well 12 1/2, before Christmas. This is one of my most favorite times of the year. And, as I grow older, I am becoming more and more low key about it. I still do the lights and the tree, and my ceramic trees of course.. but I found my decorations are more things that are the things that are flashy or trendy, but more things that are classic and that I can still enjoy in 50 years. The things in my home for Christmas are things that mean something to me. Special ornaments from our first Christmas together, and from this year, our first married Christmas. I have ceramic trees that remind me of the one that my grandmother had when I was growing up. They really are beautiful, and I hope to add to my collection over the years. Steven and I have also decorated with the Moon and Star vintage glass that we collect. Its a simple, but festive touch throughout the house. The glass reflects the lights of the tree and its a beautiful, simple, decoration for the season. The...

And it's great! It was a perfect day. We didn't have a videographer, but now I wish we had, just so I could relive that day a thousand times. There isn't one thing I would have changed. The honeymoon was perfect as well. Everyone should go to the beach in mid-fall. We even enjoyed getting in the ocean a few days. We shopped, we ate, (boy.. did we shop and eat) and we just enjoyed spending uninterrupted time with each other. And if you ever get a chance to eat at a Paula Deen restuarnt, you should do that as well.  Might be the best meal we had on the honeymoon. Steven enjoyed a brewery and a distillery, and I enjoyed visiting the tasting room of my favorite winery, Duplin. It was just the best time. And it was so hard to come back to real life! We do not have any of our pictures yet, but I cannot wait to see them. Steven made a great rustic guestbook frame for our wedding guests to sign and for us to display our wedding pictures in, so I can't wait to get them back an...

The wedding is only 9 days away! 9 DAYS AWAY! We are in single digits ya'll!!! I am so excited! I can not wait. Not just for the wedding that we have spent the better part of the last year planning, but for spending the rest of my life as Mrs. Andrews. I think we have a beautiful life ahead of us.

This weekend, I engaged in a discussion on social media about tattoos and faith. I honestly wish I had kept my opinions to myself. Not because I think that they are wrong... but because there are some people who are so closed off to any ideas other than their own, that they will not listen. I wish I could post screen shots of the conversation, but the original poster of the topic has taken it down.  I'm not going to get into thoughts of the debate here, but I will just say this. I have tattoos. Three of them. And I think Jesus loves me just the same as those who do not. But opinions are like elbows right? Most everyone has them. Just like points of view, or sides to the story..... Everyone wants to be heard... That's really what social media is now, right? A platform for other's views... It used be fun. It used to be just when people took pictures of their kids doing funny things, or what they made for dinner, or their Christmas tree decorated in front o...

We have 37 days until our wedding. I cannot wait. I am so ready. But I keep thinking of things that need to be done. That's normal, right? This morning, when I walked outside, it felt like fall, and I loved it. LOVED it. I keep looking at the picture of my wedding gown... I can no wait until I can see how it all comes together. My biggest worry is that the reception will be boring. And I will hate it if it is. So, here's hoping the DJ is as fabulous as I hope he is and that its fun! The days are passing so fast. It will be here before I know it. And I'll be on my honeymoon before I know it. And then I'll be back at work before I know it. I hope there are tons of pictures so I can have it all remembered. 37 more days....

This weekend has been full of wedding hustle and bustle. We are in the home sketch, with less than 75 days to go! I can not believe that we are this close to our wedding and being husband and wife. Time goes by so quickly! After this weekend, and a lot of the big things that were accomplished, I feel a lot less anxious about the actual event. Everything is coming together so nicely, and I have had wonderful people come along side me to help. I could not do this without them. The next chapter of our lives is so full of possibilities and we have a lot of choices to make on where we want to go and what we want to do. Steven will finish up his apprenticeship in the next 10 months, and then we will have to decide to either stay in my hometown, or move back to his. Or, will we go somewhere new for both of us. We have talked about all of these possibilities and we have one plan so far, but we are open to others if they are better for us. I love talking about how the future and what we may...